i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.