Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
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And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
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After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.