My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize