just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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