He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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