and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
