I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
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