sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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