Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
