when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
