Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
