you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
