It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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