It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
