The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
