I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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