There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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