Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
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