: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I'm having to shit out rocks
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
