Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
