Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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