oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
