Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
