I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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