mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Randomize
