It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize