Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
