There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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