omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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