I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
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