What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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