Me too!
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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