why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
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