Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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