I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
