Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
