I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
