i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
The air was thick with penises
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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