His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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