I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
