I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize