just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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