She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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