Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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