I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize