so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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