You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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