Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
