Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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