all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize