Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
