I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
