i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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