Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
