I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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