I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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